In which I argue that I deserve a birthday post from my Weaky...

Weaky, if you love me, you will post a most complimentary and fawning tribute to me on my birthday—8 days from now, lest ye forget. If you choose to flout my demand, know that you will face swift and ugly retribution. Also, you'll be dumped. Act wisely.
The end.

New blog

The Finer Things Club has a new (and more updated) blog that will be more informative. We have started a book blog - thanks to Linus aka Weiner. Her inspiration, and her frequent posts are sure to be more entertaining and inspiring than this little old blog has ever been.

The Book Off can be found at www.the-book-off.blogspot.com
You should definitely check it out for our thoughts on the many books that we read.

New Members

Happy Birthday Weiner!

Imagine this: under-wire (and nothing else), mesh, fluorescent pink. Long sleeves. Crotchless. Did I mention the long sleeves?

Apparently the FTC uses birthdays as a form of twisted celebration. And Pepper's birthday was no different. Showered with gifts like such as dicktarts and the aforementioned item above show just how far S and Fern were willing to make Pep's birthday memorable.

The three-day celebration concluded with Fern and Pepper's first-ever pedicure. It was so relaxing... even if they were late and uptight about the whole thing. Acadyia is a teaching school, though, and so while the price was good...the technicians were students. And I guess you get what you pay for.

After all the celebrations and gifts,  the FTC ensured that Weiner ushered in her 25th birthday so that she may never forget it.

We also found where we can supply everyone with dicktarts.

How to Score a Dude: Lesson 1 Removing Asinine Preconceptions

Lesson #1 involved good common sense. Men, like the incorrigible creatures that they are, do not come in neat, perfect packages. In fact, they are rather flawed. Keeping this in mind, it is important that when seeking for male companionship, one must not let their beliefs on the subject bar their chance at meeting an almost perfect, or rather, someone that will do just fine. If such a man can be found, one should make an honest effort to get to know the fellow.

Since this is the case - it was important to note that a man that grows a nice beard, possesses a desirable stature, fortune and sense of humor, along with fine traits such as a testimony of Jesus Christ, a job/education, background in cowboying, Ebonics, and general rakish behavior does not exist.

Pity.

Homework assignment #1: List 5 characteristics that are desirable but that are not considered superfluous, impossible or overly ridiculous. Such traits should not include general aesthetics or personality but should stick the absolute necessary traits deemed appropriate from the course instructors.

Assignment #1

1. A testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ
2. An interest and honest effort in one day becoming a provider, i.e. is working to better his education and/or is currently pursuing an education
3. In possession of a particular sense of humor
4. One with whom I am comfortable to be myself
5. Has instilled a particular love of family within himself
   

PottsFern all-in-one course on How to Score a Dude

S has recently been enrolled in the following course. Taught by the skankhos themselves, Fern and Pepper, it should prove to be insightful, entertaining and frustrating for everyone.

A Short Story: V&JJ

the following story is based on true events, taking place at Guru's during an FTC meeting

Vicky walked through the door that JJ was holding allowing entrance into their favorite restaurant. The line was longer than she had anticipated, though she knew that had just been wishful thinking. Besides, she knew that JJ would never be out of the door on time, he was too busy nursing his broken wrist. She still couldn't believe that he had broken his wrist! It wasn't as if they were doing anything...extreme.

She looked over at JJ and smiled and then stared ahead in line. She could feel his presence - it wasn't hard to miss. His good arm was wrapped tightly around her, and she could smell the powerful scent of his cologne. They hadn't had time to shower before they left the house, and he over compensated a bit. She didn't mind, though, because she loved the way JJ smelled.

She felt a familiar squeeze around her middle and turned to look down at him. He wasn't handsome in the traditional sense, but she loved the way his eyes lit up whenever he looked at her. She bent her head and without saying anything, he knew what she wanted.
Their lips met, her lips parted and he took full advantage. Never mind the other customers. The line was long. What else were they supposed to do. They kissed, and Vicky felt his tongue slip into her mouth. She moaned a little. His hand wandered lower, lower... She pulled away. They'd never make it through lunch if he did stuff like that. She looked at him, and he smiled and pulled her into a hug. Vicky pulled his head to her breast and stroked his hair. How she loved this man-boy! Her parents were crazy to say that they would never make it.

He murmured something to her, and she felt the familiar curling in her belly. She wished the line would hurry. JJ didn't seem to mind. He reached up and let his fingers trail through her hair. They were kissing again. Vicky thought she heard a table gawking. They were just jealous. It seemed like only a matter of minutes before they were through the line. What had she ordered? She was sure she didn't know. She was going to ask JJ, but thought against it. No sense spoiling the electricity in the air with mundane conversation. She would find out soon enough.

JJ chose a book against the window, in the corner. Vicky sat down, and he reclined to lay his head on her lap. She played with the tendrils of her hair. He sat back up and simply looked in her eyes. It was enough. She pulled his mouth to hers. Their lips moved in perfect synchronization. She felt her breath quicken when his hand wandered down next to her thigh. It was really too bad they were in a public place. Vicky heard some grumbling from a table nearby. They must have gotten up to leave...but she didn't have time to think about that. She was too busy worried about keeping her own hands to herself. JJ pulled away and smiled shyly. He lay his head upon her breast once more and she watched the dust specks floating through the air. The restaurant wasn't as crowded as before. She watched the waitress move through the maze of tables, looking for their number. When the food was set down, they enjoyed a few more minutes of liplock before JJ worried that his food would get cold.

They ate in silence. Every once and a while, she turned and locked eyes with him. It was really all they needed, and he would lean in and kiss her thoroughly. She tasted the peanut sauce from his wrap. Her own sandwich seriously lacked flavor after having tasting JJ. She looked at him again, wondering if they would be able to make it back to the apartment. They would have to. The cops hadn't been so nice the last time they had been caught...

He finished with his meal and lay back down. His hands touching where the other patrons couldn't see. She smiled a secret smile at him and looked up to see five girls walking through the door. They looked incredulous and disgusted. Vicky rolled her eyes, and continued to think about the things that JJ would do to her as soon as they left the restaurant. She shoved a few sweet potato fries in her mouth and then motioned to him that they should go...and now.

New Mexico

The recent trip to New Mexico will be blogged about in the near future.

FTC members should do the following in order to be ready for this post:

1. submit pictures to be posted (a CD of the collected pictures will be lovely)
2. gather notations taken on the trip - mental will suffice
3. submit a paragraph or so to S, in order for the trip to be properly document

Reminder, a slaying will be in order for those who shirk their duties to the FTC. Regardless whether they are in the GLORIOUS Midwest, or not. You have been warned.

Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence,

I am 22 years old and have been dating a wonderful young man for five months. Our relationship is perfect in every way and I am in love with him. He’s sensitive, has a good job, and a great sense of humor. The only problem is that we are not physically intimate in any way. We don’t even kiss or hold hands. (I was raised by old-fashioned parents and feel that I shouldn’t make the first move.) To me, this indicates that he may be gay; however, he has never broached the subject. Is there any way to tactfully bring it up, or should I just put aside my upbringing initiate the contact and see how he responds? If he responds negatively, is it worth it to stay with him? We are talking marriage, and I feel that even though I may have to sacrifice the physical side of the relationship, his personality and the other benefits outweigh the cost. Am I deluding myself, or can we make this work?

Signed,

Stay with Gay?

SWOON!

These are my final 3. I've already decided. I hope Matt doesn't go home soon...and I really did like Gokey, but it comes to this - I LOVE LOVE LOVE Kris. I LOVE LOVE Allison. And Adam is just good. He's not going anywhere.

Kris is hot. I don't care that he's married - good for him. He's just...damn. He's attractive.

There are no words...

The highly anticipated pictures from our all-girls' night in Lehi are here! For the record, if I had any control over Fern, I would have made her buy, and then wear, that jumper. I like it. Hehe.

Poor Wein...that is not the look you should be going for. But I know you know that already.

Results show...

I didn't watch last night - but I already knew what was going to happen. Michael went home, no big surprise. What did shock me, was the fact that Matt was almost lost to us! What are people thinking? It can't happen again...not until Megan, Lil, Scott, and Anoop go home.

At least people didn't let Allison get into the bottom. She is by far my favorite girl.

Meghan, Fern's and Mary's Picks

Meghan:
Michael, Megan and Scott; Michael going home

Fern:
Michael, Megan and Lil: Michael going home

Mary:
Michale, Megan and Lil: Megan going home

American Idol Wk#4: Motown

Mmmmm.... I like me some Kris. And Matt. And Gokey.

And holy cow! Adam's transformation was fantastic.

Of course, Allison was amazing. Did anyone see her fabulous jacket? I swear, there's something wrong with the way I am so jealous of a 16-year old. But dude, if I had her wardrobe, ability to wear bright pink hair and her vocals! Dang...what I could do with a set of vocals like that.

Overall, this week's performances were awesome! I am convinced that Smokey Robinson is one of the nicest people in the whole world. He had nothing but good things to say to each of the Idols. I am really tired of Scott (and his nasty pink, flesh-toned pants) and Michael. And I'm over Lil.

Anoop did good...

I'm not sure what was going on between Paula and Simon, but it was fairly amusing and mostly annoying. Hopefully they will leave the props at home.

Did I miss anything?

Bottom 3: Michael, Scott and Megan.
Going home: Michael

Good-bye Alexis.

The judges might have saved her, if she could keep her unraveling nerves in check while she sang for the last time. She was cute and sassy and had a pretty unique style, but it wasn't enough to keep her in the competition.


UPDATED POINTS

Why they're my favorites...

I was going to suggest to the FTC that we pick who we think is going to make it all the way through to be the next American Idol - but I have way too many favorites right now, there is NO WAY I could decide. They are all so different, that it makes it really hard to pick just one.

• I love Allison. She is who I want to be. And she's only 16. I wish I could have hair like hers. I LOVE it. I ask my roommate if I could pull it off - of course I can't. I know I can't. I don't have the Columbian skin tone that she has. Or the guts. Also, she has been wearing some awesome leather jackets. That's all just based on looks and style - I love her rocky, edgy voice as well. I've been very impressed, because normally I don't like the younger ones.
• Danny has been a favorite from the beginning. Not only that, but he gets to wear a different pair of frames every week! I wish I could do that. I wish I had 52 pairs of glasses, and could wear a different pair every week. Man, that would be awesome. I thought he did fantastic singing "Jesus Take the Wheel" this week.
• I am in love with Kris. I hate the way he spells his name, because I think it is sort of girly. But not only is he Christian, and really cute towards his wife - he can sing. Swoon. I love listening to him. Plus, he plays the guitar. Dang, he's just beautiful. I'm pretty sure he could grow a great beard as well...oh, AND besides his incredible brown eyes, he has by far the BEST jawline I have ever seen. I think. It's magnificent.
• I hate to admit that I forget about Matt a lot. However, every time he performs, I love him all over again. Randy said that he is a lot like Jason Mraz, and he's got a sort of Justin Timberlake-look about him. But I totally like him.

While those are my favorite, I have some honorable mentions as well.

• Adam is weird, and different. And clearly gay. However, he is unique and talented. I loved his "Ring of Fire" rendition last night. Holy cow, it was awesome! It totally reminded me of something that Muse would do, and I was disappointed that the judges didn't pick up on that. I just wish he wouldn't wear jewelry that a 60-year old woman would wear.
• Megan is cool. A walking contradiction. A typical blonde from Utah, but with a half sleeve tattoo. Man - I would totally do that... or not, but I think it is awesome that she has. She's quirky and has a really interesting tone. But I can't watch her. Her weird hip thrust, bop thing...it's annoying and weird. She can't dance. She's so awkward to watch. But I like to listen to her sing.
  

Biased Reporting

Clearly there has been a decrease in the integrity of the reporting on the FTC blog. For the record:

1. Anoop did not destroy his chances, since he was back this week.
2. Anoop did—BY FAR—the best this week.
3. We are not in love with Kris.
4. He is just ok.
5. And kind of looks like a hobbit.

AMERICAN IDOL WK #3

With American Idol in full-swing, we've been shocked with the top 13 instead of 12, watched Anoop absolutely destroy his hopes of winning during Michael Jackson week and fallen in love with KRIS! The FTC has begun its season-long competition and the standing is currently:


FERN'S Bottom 3:

Michael is going home.

Li'l Essie's Bottom 3:

Michael going home.

MJ's Bottom 3:

Megan is going home.

Weiner's Bottom 3:

Michael is going home.