How to Score a Dude: Lesson 1 Removing Asinine Preconceptions

Lesson #1 involved good common sense. Men, like the incorrigible creatures that they are, do not come in neat, perfect packages. In fact, they are rather flawed. Keeping this in mind, it is important that when seeking for male companionship, one must not let their beliefs on the subject bar their chance at meeting an almost perfect, or rather, someone that will do just fine. If such a man can be found, one should make an honest effort to get to know the fellow.

Since this is the case - it was important to note that a man that grows a nice beard, possesses a desirable stature, fortune and sense of humor, along with fine traits such as a testimony of Jesus Christ, a job/education, background in cowboying, Ebonics, and general rakish behavior does not exist.

Pity.

Homework assignment #1: List 5 characteristics that are desirable but that are not considered superfluous, impossible or overly ridiculous. Such traits should not include general aesthetics or personality but should stick the absolute necessary traits deemed appropriate from the course instructors.

Assignment #1

1. A testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ
2. An interest and honest effort in one day becoming a provider, i.e. is working to better his education and/or is currently pursuing an education
3. In possession of a particular sense of humor
4. One with whom I am comfortable to be myself
5. Has instilled a particular love of family within himself
   

PottsFern all-in-one course on How to Score a Dude

S has recently been enrolled in the following course. Taught by the skankhos themselves, Fern and Pepper, it should prove to be insightful, entertaining and frustrating for everyone.

A Short Story: V&JJ

the following story is based on true events, taking place at Guru's during an FTC meeting

Vicky walked through the door that JJ was holding allowing entrance into their favorite restaurant. The line was longer than she had anticipated, though she knew that had just been wishful thinking. Besides, she knew that JJ would never be out of the door on time, he was too busy nursing his broken wrist. She still couldn't believe that he had broken his wrist! It wasn't as if they were doing anything...extreme.

She looked over at JJ and smiled and then stared ahead in line. She could feel his presence - it wasn't hard to miss. His good arm was wrapped tightly around her, and she could smell the powerful scent of his cologne. They hadn't had time to shower before they left the house, and he over compensated a bit. She didn't mind, though, because she loved the way JJ smelled.

She felt a familiar squeeze around her middle and turned to look down at him. He wasn't handsome in the traditional sense, but she loved the way his eyes lit up whenever he looked at her. She bent her head and without saying anything, he knew what she wanted.
Their lips met, her lips parted and he took full advantage. Never mind the other customers. The line was long. What else were they supposed to do. They kissed, and Vicky felt his tongue slip into her mouth. She moaned a little. His hand wandered lower, lower... She pulled away. They'd never make it through lunch if he did stuff like that. She looked at him, and he smiled and pulled her into a hug. Vicky pulled his head to her breast and stroked his hair. How she loved this man-boy! Her parents were crazy to say that they would never make it.

He murmured something to her, and she felt the familiar curling in her belly. She wished the line would hurry. JJ didn't seem to mind. He reached up and let his fingers trail through her hair. They were kissing again. Vicky thought she heard a table gawking. They were just jealous. It seemed like only a matter of minutes before they were through the line. What had she ordered? She was sure she didn't know. She was going to ask JJ, but thought against it. No sense spoiling the electricity in the air with mundane conversation. She would find out soon enough.

JJ chose a book against the window, in the corner. Vicky sat down, and he reclined to lay his head on her lap. She played with the tendrils of her hair. He sat back up and simply looked in her eyes. It was enough. She pulled his mouth to hers. Their lips moved in perfect synchronization. She felt her breath quicken when his hand wandered down next to her thigh. It was really too bad they were in a public place. Vicky heard some grumbling from a table nearby. They must have gotten up to leave...but she didn't have time to think about that. She was too busy worried about keeping her own hands to herself. JJ pulled away and smiled shyly. He lay his head upon her breast once more and she watched the dust specks floating through the air. The restaurant wasn't as crowded as before. She watched the waitress move through the maze of tables, looking for their number. When the food was set down, they enjoyed a few more minutes of liplock before JJ worried that his food would get cold.

They ate in silence. Every once and a while, she turned and locked eyes with him. It was really all they needed, and he would lean in and kiss her thoroughly. She tasted the peanut sauce from his wrap. Her own sandwich seriously lacked flavor after having tasting JJ. She looked at him again, wondering if they would be able to make it back to the apartment. They would have to. The cops hadn't been so nice the last time they had been caught...

He finished with his meal and lay back down. His hands touching where the other patrons couldn't see. She smiled a secret smile at him and looked up to see five girls walking through the door. They looked incredulous and disgusted. Vicky rolled her eyes, and continued to think about the things that JJ would do to her as soon as they left the restaurant. She shoved a few sweet potato fries in her mouth and then motioned to him that they should go...and now.