2008 Day of Caring

Earlier this month, Fern and S decided to give back to the community by working with United Way to clean up Provo's House of Hope. It was very rewarding to drub and destroy Hefestus (the giant weed) and his brothers. We had quite a time cleaning up the playground...and so far there has been no signs of hepatitis from the toys.

Afterwards, we met Pepper at Stan's, where we enjoyed our meal, despite being filthy, sweaty, and blistered. What a day! We'll do it again next year, only this time we'll bring our own gloves!

Shoat Contest

We held our first-ever (and hopefully last) eating contest today. It was pretty much the most disgusting thing ever seen-and just so you won’t think it's a lie, the totals and pictures are posted below.

The eating contest genesis comes from the fact that as FTC members, we have watched each other throw away good food for months, bringing us down to the very same question: Who can eat the most? Everyone claimed to be Queen of Shoats, and yet, no one seemed to live up to the name.

It finally came to a head when the FTC ventured to the Chinese buffet on State Street, and we watched Li'l Puss hardly touch her food. The date was set, we were going to see who could out-eat each other.

We began plotting rules and making sure it was very scientifically done. Taco Bell was chosen as the poison due to the fact that their soft tacos are relatively cheap, roughly the same size, etc.

Official Rules Document

Taco Bell Soft Taco Eating Contest

September 23, 2008

1. Each contestant will eat the maximum number of soft tacos in the allotted one-hour time period.

2. Contestants must eat the whole taco. No leaving scraps.

3. Contestants may use hot sauce, if they choose.

4. Contestants will start with five soft tacos. If consumed, they will buy three more. Then two more for every round after that.

5. No dirty tactics are allowed. No cracking digit jokes to make the other contestants choke, etc.

6. Contestants must wait thirty minutes after the contest has concluded to puke. If they puke before that time, they are disqualified.

7. Contestants may drink the beverage of their choice during the contest.

8. The winner will be awarded with a Jamba Juice of her choice. The two losers will pay for it.

9. All contestants will notarize this rule sheet in front of a qualified witness. If a contestant should fail to abide by these rules, she will be disqualified.

Head S. Giggity ___________________________________

Fernicula ________________________________________

Li’l Puss _________________________________________

After a morning of trash talk from Fern and Li'l Puss, we ventured to Taco Bell, starving.

Fern started out strong. She had three tacos down before the rest of the FTC had finished half of their second. The fourth became a problem, but she managed to hold on and very SLOWLY eat the final, fifth one. S maintained her slow and steady speed, which would inevitably allow her to claim victory. However, Li'l Puss whimped out within minutes of starting fourth one, and alas, would not be able to complete it.




Kelley was there to witness, egg-on, and help harass Li'l Puss. Which was a nice treat - nothing like showing your boss what a shoat you really are.

RESULTS:

Head S: 5 and one bite
Fern: 5
Li’l Puss: 3.5

At any rate, Head S won, making her the queen shoat. Fern is in the bathroom hurling it all up and Li'l Puss is eating a frosty, trying to redeem herself.

Taking 30 minutes off work: $23 15 tacos: $15 Watching Fern and Head S eat themselves sick: Priceless

Fashion Advice from the FTC - A Discussion

Fern: G's Novell uniform

G: wait, how will I know you're serious? I have zero knowledge in this area.

Fern: I suggest something involving suspenders.

Fern: They are definitely making a comeback.

G: See?! I KNOW that's a setup.

Pepper: also, berets

G: I'll figure it out myself.

Fern: WHAT

Pepper: no, but khakis really are gay

G: how about coveralls?

Fern: That is the truth

Pepper: and suspenders are really hot right now

Fern: coveralls are wicked sexy

G: sheesh.

Fern: It's true.

Fern: Coveralls are hot.

G: Mainly, I don't care.

Pepper: PS---if you wear bell bottom coveralls you get double points

G: Except about the being gay part.

Pepper: or perhaps powder blue cords

Fern: I think G would look great with a jaunty beret.

G: I'll just go with a suit. That's safe.

Pepper: I concur

Fern: Maybe pinstriped.

Pepper: with a fancy neck scarf made of silk

Pepper: suits are gay

Fern: yes

Pepper: too formal for Novell

Pepper: wear jeans

Pepper: nobody cares

Fern: with moccasins

Fern: moccasins are very cool nowadays

Pepper: also, with Birkenstocks and white socks

Pepper: maybe some mardi gras beads

Fern: but they have to have fringe and beads

Pepper: Bermuda shorts

Fern: I also encourage you to wear hemp whenever possible

G: I'll keep that in mind.

Pepper: would complete the ensemble nicely

G: how about bling?

Fern: only if it involves pinky rings

Fern: although I think you might look nice with some diamond studs

Fern: They would bring out your eyes quite nicely

G: I'm too pale.

G: You have to be olive to do diamond studs.

Fern: naaa

Fern: no way

G: Potts, tell her I'm right.

Fern: Another thing to consider: open shirts or better yet...no shirt.

Fern: That would be under the overalls of course.

G: Of course

G: How about bald? is that in or not?

Fern: Only if you tattoo the back of your head

Fern: In which case, it is hot.

Fern: If you're not into moccasins or Birkenstocks, cowboy boots will do.

Fern: However, given S's strong desires for men with cowboy boots, I suggest not wearing them to work.

G: yikes

Fern: Just a heads up

Fern: You never know what will set people off

G: That's true.

G: Viggo Mortensen, for instance.

Fern: Leggings are something else to look out for.

Pepper: under the tube socks, of course

Fern: Particularly black and shiny ones

G: shiny socks?

Fern: nay

Pepper: shiny leggings

Fern: leggings

Pepper: generally, the sparklier the better

Pepper: though you can get too much shine

G: what the hell are leggings? I thought thy were those fuzzy things from the 80s.

Fern: Metrosexual is coming back for men

Fern: Those are legwarmers

Pepper: I would try for a subtle amethyst shade

Fern: pearl

G: so, like chaps? only purple?

Fern: not so much

Pepper: you know, kind of like the 80s stirrup pants

Fern: leggings are 1.not assless. and 2.skintight

Fern: unlike chaps

Pepper: surely, Her Hotness had a few pair

G: so they're pants?

Fern: yes

G: then why didnt' you say pants??

Fern: kindof like panty hose?

Fern: but more pants-like

G: like what skaters wear?

Pepper: http://www.catwalkqueen.tv/leggings-bal-hologram.jpg

G: those are seriously ugly

Fern: nono

Pepper: they are the latest

Fern: seriously cool

Pepper: Lindsay Lohan has her own line

G: then why don't you wear them?

Fern: I read that

Pepper: Fat legs

Fern: I don't have the legs

Pepper: it's hereditary

Fern: you might, though

Pepper: yours, however, are another story

Fern: I definitely see some potential there

G: k, I'm mildly uncomfortable now

Pepper: just avoid the pearl sheen, it might blend in too well with your natural skin color and people would think you
weren't wearing any at all

Pepper: speaking of which, you should probably avoid underwear whenever possible if you want to truly reach new fashion heights

Fern: not more uncomfortable than we were when you said you liked leather halters and hooker boots/miniskirts

Fern: it's just payback, that's all

Fern: yes, no unders

Fern: that works against fashion

Pepper: VPL, you know

G: pearl = my skin color?

Pepper: it is quite white

Pepper: and fairly luminescent

Pepper: you emit a sort of glow

Fern: that's why I think he'd look right smart in diamond studs

Pepper: exactly

Pepper: pearls and diamonds go together like G and leggings

G: ok, let's see: commando, amethyst leggings, beret, no shirt, coveralls.

G: got it.

Fern: G, you really should trust us

Pepper: we know these things

Pepper: For example, khakis and button downs are SO last year

Fern: Our brains contain a vast array of knowledge

Pepper: in fact, they might even be two years ago

Pepper: SHOCKING

Fern: that you could benefit from

Pepper: we can't let you walk around like that

Fern: right.

Pepper: take our advice, you will look simply grand

Fern: We really care about you, G

Pepper: yes

Pepper: we only want what's best for you

Fern: We want you to be the best you that you can be

Pepper: which might also include copious amounts of very strong cologne

Fern: If you look good, you feel good

Pepper: but it must be of the woman's variety

Fern: Ladies like this very much

G: You know what I wish? I wish I had the cajones to wear that on Wednesday and follow you everywhere you go and
act like I really thought it was awesome.

Pepper: it attracts the ladies like flies

Pepper: to poop

G: Alas, it will never happen.

Fern: Do it, and we will be your slaves for life

Fern: We dare you

Pepper: yes

Pepper: double dare

G: It wouldn't be any fun now because you'll know that I know it's a lark.

G: It only works if you think I'm serious.

Pepper: but if you made improvements, you could show us how's it done

Fern: No no, it would still work

Pepper: you just need to purchase quite a bit of rogaine between now and Wednesday and apply it liberally to your
chest

Fern: yes please

G: How do you know I need it?

Pepper: you'll know you've gone far enough when you look like a bear's backside

Fern: it will make the lack of a shirt not-so-startling

Pepper: exactly

Pepper: and you must make sure to curl it

Pepper: and spray it

Fern: It will be like a shirt..but not a shirt

Pepper: or it will never do

Fern: It must be springy

Fern: that is the rule to follow

Pepper: yes

Pepper: when each hair is individually curled so it spirals like a pube, you know you have reached the apex of chest hair

G: AHH!

Fern: You didn't know that??

Fern: I thought all men did.

Pepper: yes

Pepper: I thought that was common knowledge

G: women like pubes on chests. How does that make sense?

Fern: I think I read that in GQ once.

Pepper: if you don't know that you probably don't even know that women also like unibrows

Pepper: thick, caterpillary ones

Pepper: meeting directly in the middle of your forehead

Pepper: it's really quite dashing

Fern: It has an old school flair

Fern: especially if worn with a pompadour

Pepper: yes

Pepper: but the pompadour must be at least 8 inches high

Fern: you would look positively BRILLIANT with one of those

Fern: you have no idea

Fern: but you will only be complete when you affect a slight Jamaican accent

Pepper: and if not possible, you must at least try for Cockney

Pepper: wot wot, cheerio!

Fern: Are you taking notes, G?

Fern: Neck beards are the ultimate

Fern: I've been bugging Leo to grow one, but he is just not hip enough.

Pepper: also, molestaches

Pepper: but no more than three hairs per side

Pepper: Now that you have been given all the right fashion tips, you will put them into practice on Wednesday.

Fern: This will be like our own version of 'What Not to Wear'

Pepper: Or I will send this coversation to everyone I know with you photoshopped in said outfit

Fern: only we have told you exactly what to wear (all of the above) and what not to (gay khakis) and you will follow our expertise

Suspensions

Some people think that if this blog is not updated while certain prominent members of the Finer Things Club are on vacation, they will be severely punished upon the return of said members.

8th Meeting - Gurus

We met at Guru's on July 2, 2008.





Predictions were made that have recently come to pass. Congratulations, MJ on the engagement! The FTC is really happy for you!

7th Meeting - Thai Kitchen in a subdued manner

Regardless of the most recent FTC meeting, there is absolutely no evidence that Hell has frozen over. Sure, the sass was left at the office and the members of the FTC were able to venture out in public with two guests into public without so much as one scene of indecent display. The FTC was also able to finish their meal without an uproar of profanity and crude jokes. There was also pleasant discussion of upcoming nuptials (Mary). And KP, despite her unwillingness to try new and delicious food and also her abhorrence for anything semi-nutritious, enjoyed the delicious food that came from the Thai Kitchen. All of these things may have happened, but we do not believe they are sufficient evidence for the Apocalypse. Not yet anyway.

The FTC decided to go against tradition and regulation and offer an invitation to a select few of the entire MarCom team. All manners of excuses were given in order to get out of said FTC meeting, and the club thought they would once again embark on their own. However, Mary and Julie could not come up with sufficient excuses, and were thus made to pack themselves in the back of Pepper’s car like sardines.

The FTC entered the Thai Kitchen with high expectations, and was happily satisfied. Even if the water glasses were not kept sufficiently full, and were completely drained of ice after the first 10 minutes of sitting. Fate was on the side of the FTC and S was ecstatic to learn that her favorite dish just also happened to be the daily special. KP was overwhelmed with the new flavors and delicious noodles and vegetables that were offered. Her pansy taste buds did not allow her to fully enjoy the deliciousness that was the Yellow Curry. All were pleased with the thought that if freerice.com offers sticky rice to the starving people of the world, then they are finally being well fed.

Of course, the perfect nicety that was our 7^th meeting could not last for long. As soon as Mary and Julie returned to their assigned offices, things turned back to normal FTC fashion. And that is exactly what we did: broke out the Novell fashion, in the form of GIANT-sized t-shirts that are a weird tan-green-puce color. Said shirts had been modeled by Wein the day before, in order to earn a diet coke and a 12-pack of diet coke (although KP’s rules explicitly stated that said 12-pack must be on sale. Said 12-pack is forthcoming—KP is generous and feels more people should take her up on her offers and bets). Once the shirts had been broken out once more, the camera had to be involved and several precious moments were spent modeling the foul-smelling garments.

After which the FTC returned dutifully to work.

The FTC now awaits the arrival of a recently groomed canine with great anticipation. Photos will document the experience, I am sure.

6th Meeting — Chili's: You are just jealous because that's never happened to the likes of you

Today's blog will feature the most photo-producing FTC meeting yet recorded. After much hemming and hawing and general wishy-washiness, the girls decided on Chili's. Their plan was almost thwarted when Kati and Weiner decided to check out the nutritional information for their favorite meals and decided it would take about 673 minutes on the treadmill to burn half an order of chicken crispers; however, Chili's won out in the end. Kati was magnanimous enough to drive today, even when gas prices are higher than ever. Just more proof of her general angelic nature.

Anyway, the girls experienced no shenanigans or drooling teenage males on the way over, and were seated in the section of a very slow and pathetic waiter. Also nearby: a girl with fake pink and blonde curly hair who kept shooting crusties over her shoulder at the dazzling members of FTC. As the meal progressed, Weiner ended up with food in her lap AND on her neck. No one knows exactly what happened; we all just chalk it up to more evidence of Weiner's shoat-like qualities.

At one point, Weiner started laying out the sass to poor, unsuspecting Kati, saying, “I touched every single one of your nachos with my finger.” However, the confused Kati (her defense is that the restaurant was very loud) thought she heard Weiner say, “I touched every single one of your nachos with my wanker.” Needless to say, Kati was horrified, and tears of cackling laughter ensued.

Following this episode, Kati dared Weiner to eat a pile of jalapeños. Even though Kati offered a whopping $1.83, and S volunteered to match it, Weiner refused; this stubbornness is customary of her species. Finally S and Kati coerced the pansy-ish Weiner into eating just three jalapeños. Even with this drastic reduction, Weiner still couldn't hack it, and she ended up spewing chewed jalapeños shortly thereafter. Desperate to drub Weiner at something, Kati suggested a drinking contest. S documented the event, and Weiner succeeded in drinking Kati under the table. (Side note: Kati also offered to buy Wein any alcoholic beverages her heart desired, just to gain pure entertainment from the ensuing results.)

Finally, as Kati had been trying to hook S up with males all day, she suggested that S ask a lone diner for his digits. Six dollars were offered, and Wein offered to match that sum. S took several long looks, and, apparently deciding the specimen did not have “syrupy dripping eyes” that would cover her in molasses and melt her heart, S declined. Kati and Wein think S made a big mistake, but alas, if she has her heart set on MF, there is nothing some people can do about it.

With that, the girls were back to the office where Kati had to make a mad, hunched dash to the first floor pot to avoid being clocked in the bladder by the blackguard, Wein. The operation was a success, and sadly the girls are back to work.

The Story of a Giant Pen

Dear Blog,

On Wednesday, I took my sister to Trafalga for her birthday. I won so many tickets playing virtual jump rope that I was able to buy a giant pen. And while Wednesday went by in a flash, yesterday was a slow day. I could tell because Kimpossible was picking her nose and S was drooling on her desk. I, on the other hand, spent my time much more productively.

While Kimpossible was off on a bathroom break, I stole the pen off her desk. After looking about suspiciously, she pulled out another and went back to work. Later in the morning, during another bathroom break, I stole the replacement. And when Kimpossible confronted me about stealing her pens, I denied it. My master plan seemed to have reached a snag—Kimpossible seemed to have not only an overactive bladder, but also a boundless supply of writing utensils. I decided I needed help.

On the pretense of a work project, I walked down to S's office and enlisted her help. A few minutes later, S came to our cubicle and said that she needed to go to the shipping office. I replied that I couldn't go because I had to finish my work, but I innocently suggested that Kimpossible should accompany her. Which she did. While they were gone, I took every pen in the cubicle (and, admittedly, all the ones from Kimpossible's purse as well) and hid them behind my antibacterial wipes. I knew Kimpossible would never look there because she's notoriously unsanitary.

Then, I sat back and waited. It actually took a relatively long time. (Kimpossible, on top of sloth, bad excuses and dirtiness, is also extremely unobservant.) Again, I decided I need to give her a push, so I returned to S, my partner in crime. S rose to the occasion magnificently. She brought Kimpossible a “project” that really needed editing. The only drawback was that S “only had a hard copy,” so it would have to be edited by hand. But when Kimpossible looked around for a pen, there were none to be found.

And I, being the generous person that I am, handed her ... my giant pen.

Top 10 Reasons to Love Idaho

Recently, some people have been quoted saying that there is nothing good about Idaho and that nothing good has ever come from Idaho. I am here to prove them wrong. Without further ado, the Top 10 Reasons to Love Idaho:

10

Fact: Idaho produces 1/3 of the potatoes grown in the US, including those used for french fries in fast-food restaurants around the world. No need to mention french fries are one of the main causes of obesity in US children.
Conclusion: Idaho is a culinary hotbed.

9

Fact: Lewis, Clark and Sacagawea explored extensively in Idaho. Without Idaho, and Lewis and Clark's expedition, there would be no Sacagawea dollar.
Conclusion: Idaho is wealthy.

8

Fact: Chief Joseph, of the Nez Perce Indians, lived and uttered his famous "I will fight no more, forever" quote in Idaho. Well, he lived in Idaho until his tribe was driven out of the United States to live in exile in Canada.
Conclusion: Idaho is peaceful.

7

Fact: Idaho is the sixth-fastest growing state in the nation and has grown 38% since 1990, bringing the population of the state to well over one million. (1,429,096)
Conclusion: Idaho is economically sound.

6

Fact: Idaho is home of the Idaho Stampede and has put the NBA D-league on the map. (Incidentally, the Stampede beat the Fort Wayne Mad Antz on their way to the NBA D-league championship.)
Conclusion: Idaho is athletic.

5

Fact: Part of Yellowstone National Park is in Idaho. In fact, the Idaho area of the park is a popular visitor attraction for foreigners who come to get run over by bison.
Conclusion: Idaho is natural.

4

Fact: The poet Ezra Pound was born in Idaho. Without him, we would not have The Cantos and its fascinating observations on Mussolini, Facism and anti-Semitism.
Conclusion: Idaho is cultured.

3

Fact: The University of Idaho is consistently ranked in the bottom five in Division I NCAA football, which means it is constantly letting other states win ... a lot.
Conclusion: Idaho is unselfish.

2

Fact: Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the TV, was born and raised in Rigby, Idaho. Without the television, the US would be missing an entire generation of couch potatoes.
Conclusion: Idaho is entertaining.

1

Fact: Senator Larry Craig, recently accused of lewd conduct toward an under-cover cop in a restroom, is from Idaho. In Idaho, US Senators think that gay is ok.
Conclusion: Idaho is tolerant.

National Doughnut Day 2008

National Doughnut Day is a time for deep reflection and profound soul searching. That is why today, Kati, Meghan and S broke away from the tyranny of work and the oppression of the time clock to enjoy the finer things in life: namely, free doughnuts. To give her credit for her only good idea—ever—Kati suggested that the FTC rendezvous at the local Krispy Kreme Doughnut store to take advantage of free blueberry cake, glazed and cinnamon roll doughnuts.

So they did. After a fatiguing journey to the Hard Disc, where they discovered only disappointment, they embarked on their perilous quest. (Only made perilous by the driving of one who will remain nameless **coughScough**) At any rate, after parking far too close to adjacent cars, the three wayward travelers entered the air conditioned and sugar-perfumed innards of Krispy Kreme. There, unsure how to proceed, they chose their sugary delights and went to the counter to pay for them. Alas! No friendly face awaited them. The cash register remained cold and closed. Summoning courage from the depths of her gigantor arse, Kati bravely approached the counter and asked this scintillatingly original question:

“Are you giving out free donuts today?”

The young man, clearly smitten by the beauty of her cohorts, seemed stunned and mumbled, “Yes. You just have to ask for it.” Kati, despite her intelligence and courage from earlier in the day, now appeared flummoxed.

“So we can have a free doughnut for coming in and getting a free doughnut?” she asked hesitatingly.

“Uh ... yeah. Sure.” The confused lad behind the counter replied.

“SWEET!” the three doughnut-nappers yelled in unison, and they scampered nimbly out of the shop.

However, this was not the end of their adventure. While waiting for a stoplight to change, Meghan, observant as always, noticed three young men in the next car eying her and her compatriots suggestively. (Well, they were eying S and Meghan suggestively. They were staring in horror at Kati, who was busily shoving her doughnuts in her mouth at a rate that would shame the speed of light.) The light changed. S, forgetting that she was driving a four-cylinder, 1997 Plymouth Breeze, tried to beat them off the line. She could not. They drove away smirking. But all was not lost. S, being the ... audacious driver she is, incautiously, and recklessly unaware of her frightened passengers' butt cheeks, wove and swerved through traffic, finally passing them in the far left lane. As she brazenly waved to the vanquished, and relatively unattractive juveniles, the girls reached their exit and returned to work—basking in the glory of their free doughnuts and their subjugated foes.

Too late Kati remembered her prodigious mooning skills. But that is a story for another day of the ... FINER THINGS CLUB!

5th meeting - China Garden and the discovery of hats!

It has been a typical day at the office: Meghan was in charge. Kati was her rather unfaithful, not very trustworthy and relatively lazy sidekick. S was down the hall talking to her plants. But something was about to happen to make this day memorable … a trip to the Chinese Garden, where the girls could partake of the ghetto, yet plentiful, repast, while deciding their future plans based on the insightful, if not completely grammatically correct, sayings found in free fortune cookies. For example, while “A good man will always.” leaves plenty of room for improvisation and provides much-needed direction, it also neglects necessary punctuation.

NOVELL
HATS








Prior to leaving for the Chinese Ghetto Garden, Kati and Weiner decided to do some snooping. On a previous day trip, the three girls had noticed a fine gent on a moped with a bright and beautiful Novell logo emblazoned on his coat. Having noticed that there was a Novell coat left unattended in the unoccupied cubicle next to them, Kati and Weiner decided to try it on, and possibly steal it. What they found instead was even more breathtaking: three different Novell baseball caps of all colors and designs. Knowing that they were destined to be models (rather, Kati was, and Weiner and S were destined to be her minions and slaves), Kati and Weiner strutted down the hall to share their wares with S. All three enjoyed a good laugh, as they determined that the caps made them look like thugs, skanks, drug dealers, or all three. As requested by S, the President of FTC, pictures were taken to document this fine event. With that, the girls were off to the ghetto.

Because Meghan smoked Kati in the race to the elevator and out the revolving doors, she had the great honor of driving. This was a good omen for the day because everyone knows that S and Kati are notoriously bad drivers. However, they reached their destination in safety, ordered their food and proceeded to feast on their appetizer of egg drop soup; a concoction that more closely resembled vomit after consuming a combination of yellow Kool-Aid and flatworms.

And while Meghan and S were adventurous and sampled extensively, Kati was not to be enticed to try anything out of the ordinary—some people hope she starves. However, she did attempt to bully Meghan into eating a very hot and loathsome pepper for only two dollars. (Sometimes Kati seems to have slightly homicidal tendencies, but, out of the goodness of their hearts, Meghan and S put up with her.) In addition, to create an even remotely tempting offer, Kati would have had to include lifelong subservience and obeisance to Meghan, which she did not do.

At any rate, the meal was a great success. All three girls were satiated and enjoyed their experience immensely. They enjoyed it even though the restaurant’s hostess did seem a bit out of sorts when it came to the bill and improvised on the prices of said meal. And they enjoyed it even though Kati thought that $5.55 added to $1.50 totals a mere six dollars.

The girls returned to work to continue to rest of the mundane day … and Meghan smoked Kati and S through the badging station on the way back in.

*written today by Pepper and KP.

4th Meeting - Novell Rooftop

1 - slice of pizza, 1 - 16-oz beverage, and a whole lot of sunshine on the secret Suicide Deck for $1.79, make for a wonderful lunch break and fabulous FTC meeting.

As usual, we got down to business. Two out of three of us has finished a Song for Summer, and we are waiting for the third member to do her work (Cough*KATI!*Cough) so we can start on the next great read.

There was a lot of debate on what type of pizza to order and who would do the ordering; but we went with plan B, which allowed us to all have what we wanted - and what was cheapest. It really worked out for the best, but just in case, the FTC has now been fully educated on how to order a pizza from the Hard Disk.

The exclusiveness of our club was also discussed. In an effort to be more inclusive, it was proposed that we make an announcement to the MarCom team when FTC meets. We will be trying to include more people from now on so as not to be labeled "clique-y". We invited Mary to join us and hope that she will be a frequent visitor to our club.

Plans for next week are already in discussion as well. "Operation: Rescue Meghan from Boys Nights" will be in effect later this week, after Shelli returns from Ohio. The club will miss her terribly, but it will be good practice for when Kati leaves for Indiana next month, and Meghan the month after. Summer is upon us, but we will not let vacations hurt the progress of the FTC.

The view off of the Suicide Deck

Meghan in her cool shades.

The whole gang - with Mary.

3rd Meeting - Indiana Jones and Red Robin

Sometimes Novell really likes to take care of us. So on May 22, the FTC decided to take Novell up on the offer and meet with most of the MarCom department (and various others of the 8th floor... and whoever Troy decided to invite) and spend the afternoon at the theater watching Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. -Has anyone noticed that Indiana Jones has major trust issues? As in, he trusts people he shouldn't? And ALWAYS the main girl is obnoxious? Not sure why they felt the need to make every girl in the Indiana Jones' series absolutely ridiculous.

This meeting was particularly exciting because we were able to meet and introduce the men in our lives. Meghan was able to bring Jared. Leo came, despite his being under the weather, accompanied Kati. And even Shelli invited a friend, Dave. Sadly, Shelli left the camera charging under her desk and no pictures were taken to document this momentous occasion. We are going to have to invite the boys again sometime.

After the movie, we all headed to Red Robin where we enjoyed our meals and great conversation about things like American Idol, basketball, and other culturally stimulating topics.

It was discussed that A Song For Summer be read over the weekend so that it could be discussed on next Tuesdays meeting. We'll see what happens.

Overall, meeting #3 was a great success!

Book #1 - A Song for Summer by Eva Ibbotson

For the FTC's first attempt at a book club, we will be reading one of Shelli's newly discovered, favorite authors. (Mostly because she didn't feel Meghan and Kati were ready for the talents of Marcia Lynn McClure.)

Eva Ibbotson [this is where I would post a link to her website. Alas, she does not have one. SMA] is a talented writer, whose lush imagery is beyond comparison. Her extensive knowledge of geography, biology, zoology, and history makes the read all the more fascinating and descriptive.
Her books generally take place (from Shelli's experience) between 1920s-1950s, and are some how linked to London.

A Song for Summer was a darker novel, for all that it starts off like the Sound of Music. Good-hearted Ellen travels to Austria in the 1930s to take charge of a bunch of wild children, in this case the boarders at Hallendorf, a progressive school for the arts. In no time, she imposes order, good cooking and high standards of domestic science on the school’s neglected children and its unruly staff of anarchists and Marxists.

Meanwhile Ellen falls for the groundskeeper, a mysterious Czech-of-all-trades who is smuggling Jewish musicians out of Germany in his off hours. No one’s supposed to know that he’s the Marek Altenburg, promising young composer and conductor, a musical genius who can whip the Vienna Philharmonic into shape overnight.

Austria in the late 1930s is no time or place for Ellen and Marek to fall in love, but of course, they do. Hitler invades, and the plot becomes a melodrama of just-missed chances and too-noble sacrifices that seem destined to to leave everyone miserable. There’s enough of a mix of romanticism, irony, nostalgia, and realism that I really wasn’t sure how this one would turn out.

Review by: Blogging for a Good Book: A suggestion a day from the Williamsburg Regional Library, by Charlotte.

Other books by Eva Ibbotson, recommended by Shelli, include: A Countess Beneath Stairs, A Company of Swans and The Morning Gift.

2nd Meeting - Stan's Diner

In the mood for ghetto? Well, Stan's Diner on 9th East is the perfect place to go! Their fries... I mean, fried food (which is nearly all of it) is AMAZING! And they fry in oil with zero trans fat! The owner is Indian, and we have named him Apu - even though he could be Stan?? We don't really know.

Really, if you are looking for a good burger and fries, this is the place to go. We like the homemade onion rings and fries, the milk shakes are good, etc. etc. We could go on.

You're sure to run into Meghan and her husband Jared on occasion.

The motion to move from one table to another one in order to create distance between the party and the wasp passed unanimously.


The wasp... notice how it just lazily sits there?

1st Meeting - El Gallo Giro Mex Grill

The Finer Things Club met officially for the first time by going to lunch at a local authentic Mexican restaurant. The meeting started with a motion to require pictures at each meeting. The 'yeas' took the 'nays' 2:1 and the motion passed.

Holly Olson was our first guest.

The food was very delicious. The service was fantastic...what with the awesome Mexican manager running around refilling drinks and everything! We definitely recommend it.

Overall a complete success.