National Doughnut Day is a time for deep reflection and profound soul searching. That is why today, Kati, Meghan and S broke away from the tyranny of work and the oppression of the time clock to enjoy the finer things in life: namely, free doughnuts. To give her credit for her only good idea—ever—Kati suggested that the FTC rendezvous at the local Krispy Kreme Doughnut store to take advantage of free blueberry cake, glazed and cinnamon roll doughnuts.
So they did. After a fatiguing journey to the Hard Disc, where they discovered only disappointment, they embarked on their perilous quest. (Only made perilous by the driving of one who will remain nameless **coughScough**) At any rate, after parking far too close to adjacent cars, the three wayward travelers entered the air conditioned and sugar-perfumed innards of Krispy Kreme. There, unsure how to proceed, they chose their sugary delights and went to the counter to pay for them. Alas! No friendly face awaited them. The cash register remained cold and closed. Summoning courage from the depths of her gigantor arse, Kati bravely approached the counter and asked this scintillatingly original question:
“Are you giving out free donuts today?”
The young man, clearly smitten by the beauty of her cohorts, seemed stunned and mumbled, “Yes. You just have to ask for it.” Kati, despite her intelligence and courage from earlier in the day, now appeared flummoxed.
“So we can have a free doughnut for coming in and getting a free doughnut?” she asked hesitatingly.
“Uh ... yeah. Sure.” The confused lad behind the counter replied.
“SWEET!” the three doughnut-nappers yelled in unison, and they scampered nimbly out of the shop.
However, this was not the end of their adventure. While waiting for a stoplight to change, Meghan, observant as always, noticed three young men in the next car eying her and her compatriots suggestively. (Well, they were eying S and Meghan suggestively. They were staring in horror at Kati, who was busily shoving her doughnuts in her mouth at a rate that would shame the speed of light.) The light changed. S, forgetting that she was driving a four-cylinder, 1997 Plymouth Breeze, tried to beat them off the line. She could not. They drove away smirking. But all was not lost. S, being the ... audacious driver she is, incautiously, and recklessly unaware of her frightened passengers' butt cheeks, wove and swerved through traffic, finally passing them in the far left lane. As she brazenly waved to the vanquished, and relatively unattractive juveniles, the girls reached their exit and returned to work—basking in the glory of their free doughnuts and their subjugated foes.
Too late Kati remembered her prodigious mooning skills. But that is a story for another day of the ... FINER THINGS CLUB!
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