We held our first-ever (and hopefully last) eating contest today. It was pretty much the most disgusting thing ever seen-and just so you won’t think it's a lie, the totals and pictures are posted below.
The eating contest genesis comes from the fact that as FTC members, we have watched each other throw away good food for months, bringing us down to the very same question: Who can eat the most? Everyone claimed to be Queen of Shoats, and yet, no one seemed to live up to the name.
It finally came to a head when the FTC ventured to the Chinese buffet on State Street, and we watched Li'l Puss hardly touch her food. The date was set, we were going to see who could out-eat each other.
We began plotting rules and making sure it was very scientifically done. Taco Bell was chosen as the poison due to the fact that their soft tacos are relatively cheap, roughly the same size, etc.
Official Rules Document
Taco
1. Each contestant will eat the maximum number of soft tacos in the allotted one-hour time period.
2. Contestants must eat the whole taco. No leaving scraps.
3. Contestants may use hot sauce, if they choose.
4. Contestants will start with five soft tacos. If consumed, they will buy three more. Then two more for every round after that.
5. No dirty tactics are allowed. No cracking digit jokes to make the other contestants choke, etc.
6. Contestants must wait thirty minutes after the contest has concluded to puke. If they puke before that time, they are disqualified.
7. Contestants may drink the beverage of their choice during the contest.
8. The winner will be awarded with a Jamba Juice of her choice. The two losers will pay for it.
9. All contestants will notarize this rule sheet in front of a qualified witness. If a contestant should fail to abide by these rules, she will be disqualified.
Head
Fernicula ________________________________________
Li’l Puss _________________________________________
After a morning of trash talk from Fern and Li'l Puss, we ventured to Taco Bell, starving.
Fern started out strong. She had three tacos down before the rest of the FTC had finished half of their second. The fourth became a problem, but she managed to hold on and very SLOWLY eat the final, fifth one. S maintained her slow and steady speed, which would inevitably allow her to claim victory. However, Li'l Puss whimped out within minutes of starting fourth one, and alas, would not be able to complete it.
Kelley was there to witness, egg-on, and help harass Li'l Puss. Which was a nice treat - nothing like showing your boss what a shoat you really are.
RESULTS:
Head S: 5 and one bite
Fern: 5
Li’l Puss: 3.5
At any rate, Head S won, making her the queen shoat. Fern is in the bathroom hurling it all up and Li'l Puss is eating a frosty, trying to redeem herself.
Taking 30 minutes off work: $23 15 tacos: $15 Watching Fern and Head S eat themselves sick: Priceless
No comments:
Post a Comment