The induction of SOCKS

As we have been severely lacking in proper documentation of the activities of the FTC, it is no wonder that we failed to introduce the newest Highly Favored Honorary Member of the FTC. We welcomed Socks into our group in January, when we realized that he worked only a hallway from two of the co-founders of FTC. He has provided a much-needed single, male perspective (unlike the married, skewed male perspectives we've been receiving from husbands) and the FTC has been very pleased with his participation.


In truth, the meeting at Joe Bandido's in Sprinville, UT can be summed up by the bullet list:

penises

cucumber boats

foreplay

banana slings /banana hammocks

moonlit breasts

dip

boob grazing

Socks girlfriend

gay men

baby chicks

romance novel covers

But, of course, it is more interesting with the actual conversation. And since we don't record the meetings, it is necessary that there are errors in the recollection (and as always, the author will be shed in the best possible light...as is appropriate since she is the author and therefore under complete control...as it should be).


I don't remember the segway but the FTC was recently made aware that Socks participated in his first ever pedicure "as a dare."
Since the FTC currently has plans for pedicures in the next week, Socks was invited to attend.

"I think I'll give it a few weeks, to raise my manhood."

As the FTC, we are gracious and give Socks the benefit of the doubt that he was using 

Main Entry: man·hood
Pronunciation: \ˈman-ˌhu̇d\
Function: noun
Date: 13th century

1 : the condition of being a human being
2 : qualities associated with men : manliness
3 : the condition of being an adult male as distinguished from a child or female
4 : adult males : men
5 : penis

 the second definition, since he is (we think) inexperienced with terminology most common in romance novels (see definition #5) but that did not stop the recurrent giggling that proceeded throughout the remainder of lunch.

Over all, it was one of the more productive lunches we've had in a while and the FTC Queens are very pleased.

SPAM Comments

I feel that if we updated this blog more, we would not get so many SPAM comments on our posts. Should we disband this blog? I feel the need to keep it as a formal history of the FTC, but we have been severely lacking in discipline (meetings are no longer being documented, pictures are highly lacking, etc.)

Suggestions?

Calendar Items

Our to do list:

1. Bra fittings
2. Group pictures
3. Lunch with Courtney

I believe there was more. Please add to the list when you think of what it is.

Endangered Species

Work is a constant threat to the FTC, and lately it has threatened to overrun the members of the FTC to the point of collapse.

Luckily, there is one sole member who has remained ever-faithful, ever-enduring and utterly devoted to keeping the FTC up and running. If it were not for her loyalty and dedication, it is unlikely that the FTC were still be up and running.

Thank goodness for Lil Essums - without her, the FTC would be extinct.

Hopefully the rest of the FTC will be on board in the next few days, and will not let the tyrant be victorious over this powerful club.

FTC Trip

It is time to start planning the annual FTC trip.

To date, the FTC has been to Park City, UT (2008), Santa Fe, NM (2009) and now has need to begin thinking about a trip for 2010. In order to begin saving bones, make accommodations with significant others, etc. brainstorming should be seen as imperative in the next meeting of the FTC.

The following items should be discussed:

• Where
• When
• How much money

Put on your thinking caps, ladies!

Another item could be added to to whether or not significant others should/could be included. Of course, unnecessary difficulties may arise if the FTC were to open up their trip to include more people. Namely, 1) Difficulty in accommodating visitors by way of hotel, transportation, etc. 2) Added cost 3) The fact that one FTC member does not have a significant other - easily remedied, I'm sure and 4) differences of opinion and interests to appease. This member says, now that she thinks about it, it is probably best to keep the trip exclusive to the founding members of the FTC.

In Which S Complains quite formally...

The unauthorized disbandment of the FTC is to be punished as soon as possible. Our meetings have lessened, our posts completely obliterated. Someone should be hanged for insubordination. For future reference, no one is allowed to go out of town for so long without figuring out a way for the FTC to be together.

That means, Fern's trip to Argentina has been canceled, unless she can provide a ticket for the other two co-founding members of the FTC to join her. Also, all trips to Burley, ID and Troy, OH are forbidden unless formally approved by the FTC.

Ignored texts, emails and other such forms of communication shall be tried as high treason and ultimate disloyalty to the FTC. Punishments will be determined by offended parties.

** HUFF **

In which I argue that I deserve a birthday post from my Weaky...

Weaky, if you love me, you will post a most complimentary and fawning tribute to me on my birthday—8 days from now, lest ye forget. If you choose to flout my demand, know that you will face swift and ugly retribution. Also, you'll be dumped. Act wisely.
The end.